By Claire Molinard
If each of us has a Unique Gift to bring into the world—something only we can offer—then why do so many of us struggle to fully live and express it?
Why do we hesitate to take our Unique Risk, the bold step that allows us to become who we are meant to be?
More powerful than the call of our uniqueness is a deeper, unconscious belief that whispers relentlessly: “There is something terribly wrong with me.” This false belief holds us back, keeping us stuck in cycles of self-doubt and self-criticism. But where does it come from?
The Origin of the False Self Pattern
Theorists suggest that these deeply ingrained—and entirely false—self-perceptions arise from what is known as the Realization or Shock of Separation (see Your Unique Self by Marc Gafni and The Way of the Human, Vol. 2 by Steven Wolinsky). This shock creates the core wound that shapes our self-perception and limits our capacity to fully step into our uniqueness.
Think of it as a one-two punch we experience upon arriving in this world:
- The First Shock – We find ourselves in a body, suddenly bound by time and space, no longer part of the vast, eternal dimension we once knew.
- The Second Shock – The fusion we felt with our caregivers dissolves, and we realize: I am separate. The experience of unity is gone, and in its place is a sense of disconnection and loss.
Consider, for example, an early experience where the mother temporarily leaves a baby crying for a few minutes. While the mother may love the child deeply, the baby has a limited ability to make sense of this discomfort and cannot understand that the mother had to attend to something else for a moment. Though we don’t consciously remember these early experiences, they leave an imprint. On a deep, preverbal level, it feels as though we have lost something essential—our very core. This loss is experienced by the nervous system as chaos, a void that signals something is terribly wrong.
How the False Self Forms
As a child, we see the world in relatively simple terms. In an attempt to make sense of this overwhelming feeling, our minds create a False Core Belief—a hidden story that explains the loss we feel. It sounds different for each of us:
- I am not enough.
- I am alone.
- I am unworthy.
- I am too much.
- I am a burden.
Though these beliefs are false, they feel deeply true, shaping how we see ourselves and limiting our ability to take our Unique Risk—the courageous step that allows us to reconnect with our aliveness and live our purpose.
Shedding the False Self
The good news? The False Self is simply a mask—a survival strategy you learned as a child to ensure you received the love, safety, and belonging you needed. It is not your true identity.
Your Unique Self has never been lost, only hidden beneath layers of conditioning, fear, and false beliefs. The journey of shedding the False Self is not about becoming someone new—it’s about emerging as the fullest expression of your essence, that’s always been here, awaiting to be revealed.
Are you ready to step beyond your False Self and into the life waiting for you?
Stay tuned for our upcoming 10-week course that guides you into the freedom and spaciousness that comes from shedding the False Self. , We’ll explore how to recognize, release, and move beyond the patterns that hold you back—so you can finally step into your full, Unique Self.
More details coming soon!