by Claire Molinard
“Unique Self begins with the recognition that every individual is both part of the one and uniquely incarnates the personal face of Essence, or God.”
— Marc Gafni
When we arrive in this world, we are still bathing in the oceanic consciousness from which we come. In those early months, we are still fused with our caregivers until, around five months old, we gradually begin to sense the edges of our being. This is the birth of the Separate Self—the awareness that we exist as distinct from everything else. As adults, left unexamined, this experience becomes our automatic everyday reality. If we thought of the Separate Self as a puzzle piece, it would be a piece that feels its distinct contours, longs to be part of a larger puzzle, and yet struggles to find where it fits.
For some of us, however, a deep knowing stirs—an intuition that separation is not the whole story, and we follow this inquiry until it leads us to the realization that beneath our individuality, all is One. This is the experience of “Awakening” which has been described by all the spiritual traditions, Eastern and Western. It’s the revelation of the True Self, where boundaries dissolve, and we touch the vast interconnected whole. Yet in that expanse, a question arises: If we are all one, what makes me, me?
If we are not merely Separate Selves, and not only the one True Self, then who are we? And why are we here?
This is where Unique Self emerges: we come to see that we are simultaneously part of the whole and uniquely distinct. Our contours—once something that kept us separate from the whole—become the very expressions of our uniqueness, the channels through which our gifts are offered to the world. We don’t need to erase ourselves to belong. Instead, we must recognize that our uniqueness is an expression of the divine, woven into the larger whole with intention and necessity. Our task is but to fully embody our singular essence, knowing that our uniqueness itself is essential to the evolutionary unfolding of life.
With this realization, we begin to understand that there’s a way in which life moves through us that is entirely our own. Our wisdom, creativity, and presence are expressions of something only we can offer, which is our unique gift. Yet with every gift comes a risk; the risk to do what is ours to do. It’s one thing to know what our gift is; acting upon it is another. Taking our unique risk is about embracing our true calling with clarity and courage, daring to face discomfort and even challenges as we bring it into the world.
As we clarify and emerge as our Unique Self, something even greater unfolds. We begin to see that our gift is not just for us. We are not just fitting into the puzzle—we are shaping it. Our very presence nourishes the whole, just as the whole nourishes us. Offering our gift is not an act of self-expression alone; it is part of evolution itself. We are participating in the evolutionary process. This is the experience of Evolutionary Unique Self.
The journey of Unique Self emergence is ongoing. We move through these stages again and again, peeling layers of separation and clarifying our gift each time we take our risk. As we evolve, we come to a profound realization: our personal transformation transforms the whole.
Our gift is not just welcomed—it is needed. The evolution of the world depends on each of us stepping into our Unique Self in our unique circle of intimacy and influence. If we do not take our risk, if we do not offer what is uniquely ours to give, we will never feel truly fulfilled. Only by answering the call to our own becoming do we participate in the greater unfolding of life itself.
In the end, our sense of separation was but an unclarified expression of our uniqueness. It was never a contradiction to the whole, but the very currency that connects us to the whole. The world is waiting for us to fully inhabit who we truly are and to step fully into what is ours to do.