The Evolutionary Journey of the Unique Self

“Unique Self begins with the recognition that every individual is both part of the one and uniquely incarnates the personal face of Essence, or God.”
Marc Gafn

The Journey Begins with the Separate Self

Our journey of self-discovery often begins with an experience of being a Separate Self. In this stage, we start by recognizing ourselves as distinct individuals, defined by personal boundaries and characteristics. Though we sense there’s a larger world beyond our immediate experience, we remain disconnected from it, yearning for a sense of genuine connection.

Marc Gafni uses the metaphor of a puzzle to describe this phase: we are like individual puzzle pieces, aware of our unique edges and contours but unable to see how we fit into the bigger picture. This feeling of isolation can lead to intense angst and pain, which in turn fosters the False Self—a contracted self-image built upon limiting beliefs and distorted views of who we are.

For many, the journey stops here. These limiting beliefs can shape our lives so strongly that we never move beyond them, leaving us unaware of their impact on our ability to experience a larger sense of self.

The Awakening of the True Self

We transcend our Separate Self when we realize that our experience of being separate was all an illusion. At this stage, we become aware that there was never any puzzle piece. We are the whole puzzle and hence the total number of true selves is One. It is the realization that we are One with the Source of love and power in all creation that allows us to recognize that we are not separate from Source. This stage is often referred to as “enlightenment” by many spiritual traditions and we are told that we must destroy any sense of separation or uniqueness, as it is a mere illusion that keeps us from realizing our True nature. This is true but partial. While It is essential for us to realize that we are not separate selves – “skin encapsulated egos” to use Allan Watts’s term, it is equally true that each of us has a unique perspective as that one True Self. Each one of us is a unique expression of that One. Alfred North Whitehead spoke of the “seamless coat of the universe,” Marc Gafni says, “Yes, the coat of the universe is indeed seamless, but it is not featureless!”

Discovering the Unique Self

At the stage of the Unique Self, our journey deepens further. We come to understand that while we are one with all things, we also experience the world through our unique perspective. The experience of Unique Self is the recognition that within the fullness of True Self, we also feel an emerging impulse to individuate. Inevitably, True Self always sees through a unique set of eyes; the intimate experience of True Self is inevitably unique. If your name were Sophia it would be your unique Sophia-ness with its unique perspective that emerges from your unique essence. Here we come to realize that uniqueness is not a function of alienation; uniqueness is the currency of connection. You are connected to the larger puzzle precisely because of the unique edges of your puzzle piece. In this final stage, our Unique Self awakens to its role in a larger evolutionary context. As we embrace our individuality, we come to see that our unique qualities contribute to and nourish the entire puzzle. We understand that our growth and transformation are interconnected with the evolution of the whole. By evolving ourselves, we nourish all other “pieces,” and in turn, the Whole supports and elevates our Unique Self. The journey from Separate Self to Evolutionary Unique Self is one of releasing separateness and embracing the call to share our unique gifts with the world.

Evolutionary Unique Self:

Embracing the Evolutionary Unique Self

The final stage, Evolutionary Unique Self, occurs when as our Unique Self, we acknowledge that we have a unique role within the larger evolutionary context. Here, our Unique Self awakens to his or her nature as a unique expression of the evolutionary impulse. As we become ever more conscious of your unique qualities, we also become ever more connected to every unique feature of the entire puzzle and simultaneously, we recognize that our evolution actually nourishes and evolves all the other pieces of the puzzle. In other words, we evolve the Whole and in turn, the Whole nourishes and evolves our Unique Self. 

And so, the journey from our Separate Self to our Evolutionary Unique Self is one of letting go of that which keeps us separate and accepting our obligation to offer our unique gifts to the world. 

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